DONE! So many women... So little time.

[SueV]

Let's go Brian!!!!!! Type till those little fingers bleed if that's what it takes to finish And talk to your wife ,she hasn't updated her report in awhile either! Let's have a talk with her!

[MissBianca]

Sue, the wait will be worth it. I have inside information that there have been over 6 pages added since last night's entry and a post is certain to come tonight

[Snickerdoodlesmommy]

Originally Posted by Daddio

Please, PLEASE! Let me set the record straight. I don't know how my picture ended up in this thread, but that is me writing down ideas of gifts for me to buy for my lovely wife before I left Orlando.

Anything to the contrary is purley fictional and the creation of wild imaginations.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Geeez.

Great story Dave!!! I believe you.

[kathleena]

I'm so bummed that I came down with that cold on Thursday. Saturday ended up being my worst feeling day and after the Mega Mouse Meet, I went out to dinner with DH and then went back and crashed (except to see the shuttle!). I really wanted to go to the kareoke meet after reading about last years!

But I need to hear the story about Daddio. He does seem a bit sneaky.......

[Frogman]

Picking up where I left off. This is the part of the night where things get ugly. I didn’t want it to be this way but he started it. The manager came over to tell me that I had to move. Apparently sitting on the arm of an ugly $85.00 couch from Odd Lots is wrong, wrong, wrong! It wasn’t wrong for the first 11 singers but now it was a problem! The show couldn’t continue as long as my butt was in contact with the couch that was out of fashion before I was born. Even though there were no seats I got up and tried to find a new “home”. I saw my wife, and a few others, up front near the stage. There was still not enough seats for everyone but I couldn’t head back while the Nazi gnat was guarding the couch. Margaret agreed not only to let me sit at their table, but she offered part of her chair. The left half even! Everyone knows that’s the best half of a chair for someone like me who writes with their right hand, and sits with their right cheek. That is one considerate wife.


I settled in with Margaret and next up was BigBrian again. Actually he sang before I moved but I needed a good cliffhanger last night so I jumped the gun with the couch by one person. Just know that this song will be written like I was in the front row but from the perspective of a person in the back. Best of both worlds! Brian sang “Till there was you”. He claims to have botched the song but I couldn’t tell. Had I known I was getting evicted maybe he could have sang a number dedicated to that ugly couch. It was such an unexpected and quick break-up.

Normally I save notes that I forget the meaning of for the end of the report. This one however seems special. It says “AliciaG Spank Guy” with the word “Monkey” written after. That sure sounds like something I should have remembered. I hadn’t even had much to drink yet. Does anyone care to fill us in? Alicia? Mystery monkey man?

I am on my second drink now. Before my eviction MissB had ordered me a Lemondrop Martini. This is apparently FLSharon’s drink of choice. That is why I hold her partially responsible for the events that unfolded that night. Without that lemony Vodka I wouldn’t have had nearly as much fun, or have been in nearly as much trouble.

Amymouse was up again. This time singing a song from the Little Mermaid. Poor Amy was feeling under the weather that night, or so I heard. You couldn’t tell from the way she got into the music. Turns out she wasn’t getting into the beat, she was just trying to stand upright. For not falling into the crowd we salute you Amy! Just know that if you do need to next year we would probably have caught you or at least broken your fall! Then we would have passed you around the impromptu mosh pit of Taginators. I bet THAT has never accompanied a Little Mermaid song before.

The next Tagrel singer was our very own Alikat. She sang “All that Jazz” from Chicago. Clearly she has some experience with this stuff. She not only had the pipes to handle it, she seemed almost bored with the lyrics as though she sings this song when making cereal every morning. “Oh this little old number? Its my cornflakes song. If you want to hear something you should see what I do with fruit loops.“ Maybe that is exactly what she does. Join us for the first annual Alikat meet next year at MF. It starts early in the morning, whenever she eats breakfast. We will find out what, if anything, she makes cereal to. This is of course unless her mom, Cshore, has some embarrassing home footage of Alikat at age four, at that stage when wearing clothes that match is uncool. Then we could just upload that onto YouTube. That might satisfy our curiosity surrounding her obvious experience. It really wasn’t until the screen flashed “20 second instrumental” that I realized why she seemed bored. She was just waiting for a chance to dance around on stage. Unfortunately the one picture I managed to snag during this time makes her look like she was dancing at her first Junior High dance when none of the boys would dance along and she wanted to be “cool”. Trust me though she didn’t dance anything like that, she has moves.

Also with “moves” was the wedding party. They kept moving in front of the stage and blocking our cameras and then getting a “MOVE IT” from the crowd. They seemed fairly responsive to our yelling after they realized we were real, not just another liquor induced hallucination like the rest of that girl’s dress. Also getting their move on was Tracy and some other Team Scopa members. They had had enough karaoke for one night. Tracy also announced she had to go “find Zach”. Apparently she just left him outside and told him to move from bush to bush to avoid security spotting him. She saved $10 on daycare and she did end up finding him eventually! Finally, the last thing to get a move on was my sobriety. Though I wasn’t really feeling the two drinks I was retelling my adventures of the couch eviction with lines such as “then I have to get off the chair of the couch!” instead of the arm of the couch. It would only get worse from there.

About this time the mean waitress came up to me with an angry look. Margaret and I were sure we were going to be told we couldn’t share a seat. Instead she harshly announced “HOW ARE YOU PLANNING TO PAY FOR YOUR DRINK?”. Calm down lady. It will be ok. The world has not ended. Stop acting like the Cuban missile crisis is in your hands. I told her I would decide on my method of payment once she actually gave me a BILL. Funny how that works you moron. You tell me what I owe THEN you get money. Just how long have you been a waitress? What did she expect, me to just leave a trail of twenties around for her to find? She came back and threw down my bill. I opened the book and about choked. Not only was she rude but she had given herself a tip. What kind of job is it that allows you to be a bitter shrew and then GIVE YOURSELF A TIP? Not only this but she circled the tip. I am a reasonable person, maybe this means “Hey sir, I have taken the liberty of showing you that the tip is included. You do not need to tip me again.” BUT NO! She circled AND drew a star. That clearly says “I don’t like you. Not even a little. I was mean and I haven’t said barely a word to you all night. I shoot you dirty looks and STILL get tips. TAKE THAT SUCKER!” Stars, they sure do say a lot.

It turns out my ONE weak drink cost me $13.08. THIRTEEN DOLLARS AND EIGHT CENTS. What did they make it out of? Gold? Turns out I was charged this extra tip because I came with Debi. WHAT! How is that the manager can’t remember Debi or her reservation but when it comes to automatic gratuity suddenly her full name appears on my bill? You may wear suits from Bob’s Bargain basement but I am on to you mister! After paying for this drink I got up and went to tell Debi that being her friend cost me extra money. Sure it was worth $1.89, but if anyone in there every asks me again if I know her I will just say Debi who? Oh that lady? Never saw her before in my life. Not because I don’t like Debi, I am just cheap. Debi said that the waitress not only was grumpy to me, she was grumpy to Debi ABOUT ME. Apparently she was angry because I left without paying. Debi told her that a member of this group wouldn’t do that. The waitress said well that one left and didn’t pay! Debi said “you mean that guy?“. She thought I left because I wasn’t where she left me hours before. THEY MADE ME MOVE. So let’s recap now. You sit down, they take your order, they give you an overpriced, weak, unimaginative drink, they tell you to move, they complain to your host you ditched, then they track you down, demand payment (insinuating its YOUR fault THEY lost you when THEY had you move), and then they add a tip for themselves for the hassle. I think from now on I would bypass that lady altogether and go straight to the bar.

PART TWO COMING!

[Frogman]

PART TWO!

Did I mention that the entire time this waitress had the stick lodged in her nether region the wedding party was dirty dancing and bumping into me? The two guys mostly. They thought they had looks and rhythm. Isn’t it amazing how liquor works. They had no idea they looked and moved more like sweaty seals than supermodels. Being that drunk sure makes people fun! I think its time for another drink (my third). I head up to the bar. The lady working the bar was… NICE. Apparently she wasn’t aware I was with Debi or she missed the staff meeting. She made my drink quickly and with a smile. I paid for my drink (and tipped two dollars which is more than the automatic tip the waitress took) and was on my way. On the way back to my table I informed Sharon that anything I do under the influence of Lemondrop Martinis was her fault. And as I got back to my table Margaret pointed out there was empty seats from the bar. I ran over and grabbed one. It only took a few hours but I had a seat! As I arrived back at the table with my seat Margaret mentioned for the first time she was drunk. Shortly after her next drink arrived.

Finally the wedding party consisting of strippers and seals were on their way. Before they left though one of the ladies had a special goodbye for Daddio. I can’t go into details, this is a PG-13 report. REPORT EDITED FOR CONTENT AT THE REQUEST OF DADDIO. YOU STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID. LINDAC KNOWS TOO. WE HAVE PICTURES.


The next thing in my notes isn’t music either. Apparently no one sang at this thing. Instead up next is Lynner. She came over to me and said “When you leave FIND ME.” While I know it was simply because she meant we were at the same hotel (and everyone else was POFQ was gone) I couldn’t help but laugh inside. Something about the way she said “FIND ME” made it sound like that could mean find me in the bushes, find me in the lagoon, find me on stage singing “Rudolph the red nosed reindeer” even though the song playing is something else entirely- just FIND ME. I promised I would locate her before leaving and then we were free to party it up.

Another SINGER! Debi gave us “When your good to mama” from Chicago. I love broadway tunes. I was happy so many of the singers choose them. Debi did great with this number. She even had the appropriate hand motions for the line “Don’t you know that this hand, washes that one too, when your good to mama, mamas good to you”. Then again maybe she was just applying hand sanitizer because the wedding party had touched that microphone and heaven knows where they have been. I may not know where they have been but we do have spies. Apparently when leaving a few tags caught them leaving a few presents in the bushes. Some seals just can’t hold their liquor.

Geri was next to perform with “Black Velvet”. I am pretty sure she sang this one last year as well. A pretty classic song. How do I know its classic? Well they butcher it nearly every season on American Idol. If that doesn’t cement its status nothing ever will. Geri didn’t even come close to butchering it, she will have to try a little harder if she ever expects to be ridiculed on national TV by a famous British man.

4th drink appears in my notebook. Apparently I went up and got another one during this last song. This pretty much means whoever sings next is going to do a GREAT job. I have no idea who that was though. The next thing to appear in my notes is “yelling OJ comments”. I have no idea if this is OJ Simpson or orange juice. I also have no idea who yelled them. For the sake of the story let’s say it was LindaC shouting the benefits of vitamin C rich breakfast drinks. I know she wasn’t just sitting there quietly. The next note is 5th drink. Wow, that was fast. I wonder how many it is going to take to feel it. Only time would tell.

Five. The answer is five. Definitely five. I feel it. Woo, do I ever I feel it. Five.

Alikat is up again singing “Its gonna happen”. If she means my buzz than you’re a song late. The answer is five. FIVE. Five. During this song Ali gave us more of her trademark moves. At one point she even came down to the floor. I had no idea what she was doing. All I know is that my head was at a level that would have been inappropriate to continue looking at Ali. I politely turned my head away until she returned on stage. I then asked Margaret what she was doing over at our table in the first place. She told me “I think she was putting her (Margaret’s eyes get big) on you”. Now I don’t REALLY think that is what she was doing. I don’t even think Margaret thought that, but she had lots to drink by this point and she thought everyone was doing that. All that matters is that it made me blush. So that little comment about the grope photo and some of the ladies needing to try a little harder to embarrass me? Well Ali, I think you managed just fine. After all of that I needed some air. I went over to Ddoll and announced that we had less than an hour to get in trouble. Did I just say that? Well here comes the quote you were waiting for BetsyAnn. My lesson of MouseFest. “You know your drunk when you know what your saying, you just have no control whether it comes out of your mouth.” I had never had this much to drink before. What a revelation.

I almost made it back to my table when I hear the lady announce “Next we have Frogman & his Wild Women!” I can honestly say I do NOT remember being asked to go up and sing. Someone else filled out that form with that on there. I am pretty sure it was Alicia. While I don’t remember being asked, and I know I didn’t fill out the form, I do remember being on stage in about 2.5 seconds. Yep. FIVE does it. F-I-V-E. There I was holding the microphone center stage. From my view point on stage I could see the audience. Clearly the lady announcing songs had never heard of me or my Wild Women. When she announced “Frogman & his Wild Women” half the room stood up. The fear in her voice as she shouted into her microphone was priceless. “ONLY SIX ON STAGE!” I am not sure how it was decided who got to go up with me. I just know there we were. What were Frogman & his Wild Women going to vocally bless the world with? “Here Comes Santa Clause” of course. Not only did we go up but we brought our own dancing Santas courtesy of GloriaK. I have no idea if we actually sang. I do recall being sober enough to think “hold the microphone away from your mouth and they can’t hear you”. I also remember laughing and having everyone singing the same song, just not at the same time. We finished our number and exited the stage. It was a good memory, well for the two of us who remember it.

Margaret, after 3 vanilla russians, wonders if this song is in English.

We went back to our table. There I sat next to Alicia who was drinking the same thing as me. The only difference is that she poured her martinis into a shot glass. Some people are angry drunks, some are happy drunks. Alicia is a Lord of the Rings drunk. When the waitress came by once to grab it (it was empty) Alicia immediately turned into Gollum muttering something along the lines of “My precious, my precious”. I think she might have actually said “This here is my baby!” but that isn’t nearly as much fun and I needed to give you the visual of Alicia hovering over that glass like it was her life source. Just look at her face when she thought I took her shot glass.

Limegreecheri was the next singer in the lineup. She was offering up the Whitney Houston classic “I’m every woman”. I didn’t know this girl could sing but sing she can! She had everyone up and dancing around like crazy. Not only were we dancing but so was she. She even managed to swivel those hips without spilling a drop of her martini. I think she has practiced this at home. I am telling you, if you haven’t heard her sing you MUST. Everyone has to make sure she gets on stage for a repeat performance come marathon. You will NOT regret it. Towards the end of her number, as the music faded, Cheri decided to thrill us all with a spectacular finish. The only thing that Cheri needs to remember is that martinis make you THINK you can do a cartwheel off stage, they do NOT actually give you the ability to a cartwheel off stage. This put Cheri’s knee out of commission for the marathon but it has cemented her position in the Wild Women.

PART THREE COMING!

[Frogman]

PART THREE

The Tagrel member offering up the next tune was Geri singing “breathe”. I will be honest, she probably did a really good job. My drinks were kicking in by this point and I was still amped up from Cheri’s number so I can’t really recall. At this point I was also a little aggravated. Now you see Margaret reported that I was screaming about a missing notebook that is my life. That was LATER in the night that my notebook came up missing. The photo she showed you was from an earlier event. In fact let us look at that photo again. I will also zoom out and show you the truth. I was not screaming “THAT’S MY LIFE!” I was screaming “THAT’S MY WIFE!”. As you can see in the first photo Ellen was a bit taken aback by my sudden passion but in a matter of seconds she was on my side screaming “Brian! Brian! Brian!”

Is John dancing with himself in this one?

Next up we had a duet. Ddoll and Geri were singing “Take me or Leave me” from RENT. That is one of my FAVORITE songs. That is why when they started I announced to Margaret (or possibly the wall- they looked alike by then) “I ann gone two danth!” And Dance I did. I got right up on center stage between the two lovely ladies and did my thing. I am pretty sure I didn’t ask either of them at any point. That would explain their faces in this photo.

In RENT this is a love song between two women. At our meet it was a love song dedicated to me, by me. That was the easy part of course. They had to do the singing. Let’s follow along with a few lines of the song shall we.

Debi: “Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be, and if you give a dam, take me baby, or leave me”

At this point I was just doing basic finger snaps and some wiggling of the waist.

Debi: “No way, can I be what I’m not, but hey don’t you want your girl hot!”

I kept the snapping and the wiggling and added a few nods.

Geri: “What’s my sin, never quit, I follow through, I hate this but I love you!”

I added a 180 pivot and tried my movies on Geri. I threw in a few little hand motions indicating to the crowd they should be getting photos of all of this. Geri was nice enough not to laugh at me. Debi on the other hand (out of my line of sight) was thoroughly enjoying the performance.

Geri: “Take me for what I am, Who I was meant to be!”

This is where it got a little more obvious I had been drinking. The snaps were gone but the waist wiggle became more of a pelvic thrust. Now remember, I have never danced in public before (but I dance dust all the time). Apparently I had to make up for lost time. As they finish up their duet the thrusting stops, the snaps return, and I become my normal self again. Still to this day I can’t hear this song and not think of them. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Daddio is a really great guy. I thought I should mention that because during this little number my notebook was left on the table unattended. When I got back I found this little note.

I wonder who wrote that…. Well if it is in the report it must go in! Although Margaret wasn’t REALLY mad at me. There was only about 5 minutes left in the night so I ran up and ordered one more drink. Sadly the bartender was gone. In her place was the Nazi gnat. I got my sixth and final drink and then realized I had been walking around with a day’s worth of change. I made sure to pay him exact change because I knew tip was NOT included. I may have been drunk, but I wasn’t stupid. He didn’t look very impressed. I guess he thought he was the only jerk in town. As I walked away I gave him a wave. Being drunk is fun. When I got back to the table I pretty much drank the whole thing in one gulp. Even the waitress said “That was fast”. So tempting to remark it was nothing like her service, but I was nice.

To end the night a stranger got up and sang some song I didn’t write down. It wasn’t special in the least. That didn’t stop all of the Tagrel folks from dancing around like mad. He kept screaming “I LOVE YOU GUYS!” and we kept thinking “WE LOVE YOU TOO VODKA!”. It was at this point Sheryl even carried me around. Just how much did SHE have to drink? Eventually the music ended and we got ready to head out. LindaC and her husband were giving Lynner and me a ride back to POFQ. As we left I spilled my marathon costume all over the hallway. Luckily Ddoll was behind me and picked it back up.

We drove back and Lynne went to her room and I went to mine. I walked in and MissB was still awake, or I woke her up. Either way she wasn’t asleep anymore. I started talking 900 miles per hour filling her in on all that she missed. It went something like this: “Lemondrop martini and then All that jazz! FIVE! Then sweating seals the waitresss was like and I said black velvet FIVE! Here comes Santa Clause! Her comes Santa Clause right down I’m every woman cartwheel Cheri Rent and SIX! I was snapping and dancing and VODKA! Where is my camera. It is here or there or there or here or there. Where is it? I have to brush teeth.”

Then I crawled into bed having had a great time and losing my camera. MissB called the Swan but it was too early to have things turned in. I wasn’t really worried about the camera as much as the potential damage the photos could have on my window getting votes if the photos leaked. Politics are so tricky.

Here is a look at my notes from that night for anyone interested.

And now AFTER six drinks…

Ok so maybe I was feeling good, but that doesn’t mean I don’t remember it ALL.

More Photos:

Daddio tries to steal my "MargaretJ for President" pin.

[Frogman]

And now for a limited time take home the memories on this special 2 disc set.

Karaoke Classics

Featuring all the hits of Saturday night. The first 10 callers get a free Lemondrop Martini. It's yours for only 3 easy payments of $9.99. Supplies are limited.

[MissBianca]

So that's what I missed. I will never, ever ever leave karaoke early again.

I would like to set the record a little straight. First I want some of the blame and credit for having BOUGHT Brian his first Lemondrop, not just ordered it for him. I am not cheap

Second, I of course, do not know whether Brian spoke the famous line "I know what I'm saying, but I don't have any control over what comes out" earlier in the evening but I know he repeated more than once back in the room. He was also completely convinced that he'd left his camera at the bar, that was why I had to call them, "Haven't you made that call yet?" "When are you making the call?" ... The Swan security desk person was surely amused by this person looking for a camera at 2 in the morning and told me that the bar people had not turned anything in that night and to check back in the morning.

Brian also brushed his teeth for at least 5 times as long as usual--forcing me to assume that lemondrops stick to the teeth. Or his teeth were hurting, but that's not as much fun. And I think he dropped something--that was fun to watch.

[SusanL]

I am so sorry we left early. But I am glad Brian is writing this trip report. I sit here laughing every night.