BriarRose and the Niagara Meet [Archive] - Tagrel.com

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Tagrel

11-17-2009, 01:22 PM

We have been able to avoid situations like this over the years because of good communication and a desire to solve problems before they become a public issue.

THIS situation had pretty much ZERO communication and as it was made a public issue by BriarRose I find myself in a position to share my side of the story.

OK - Not that I've heard a peep from BriarRose, but through communication with BetsyAnn and BriarRose's Facebook page I now understand what is going on.

This is all about the Niagara meet being the same weekend as BriarRose's wedding.

Both Moley and I probably SHOULD have remembered the date of the wedding, but did not. It was posted last April and since we could not attend, I did not remember the date. While I can drive 3 hours to Niagara Falls for a meet, I can not afford to fly to Texas right before our yearly vacation. Moley can attend neither the wedding nor the meet.

BetsyAnn is taking part in the wedding, and was part of the artwork discussion for the Niagara meet. She did not remind us of the wedding date because she thought it was a non-issue and had been brought up at Tag-O-Mania. So it was never even discussed as any kind of conflict.

While I'm very sorry that this hurts BriarRose, it was nothing done intentionally to hurt her (unlike what I'm reading on Facebook which is written to specifically punish and hurt those that dared to cross her.) Disappointment and hurt goes both ways - as does friendship. I have not received even an attempt of a contact from BriarRose about this issue other than a post to the moderators to say she was hurt and stepping down as a moderator. I asked why, and got no response.

Kristen's wedding is a wonderful life event for her and her friends. BUT it is not open to anyone wishing to attend. I have seen no formal invitation to all site members and to expect a group 2000 miles distant to choose different dates is not fair or reasonable.

To publicly chastise that group with partial information is further unreasonable and hurtful as well. To say I'm disappointed is a huge understatement. Something that could have been discussed among friends has escalated to a big deal that hurts many and involves many.

I just thought that those on both FaceBook and the site needed the entire story. I realize some will agree with BriarRose and some will not. That is to be expected. But at least now you can make that determination on all the information - not just one side.

Timon

11-18-2009, 06:00 AM

My only comment is that I understand both sides of this issue and hope that things can be worked out for all involved.

Bookwood

11-18-2009, 06:06 AM

Ditto

Cruey

11-19-2009, 12:45 AM

Tagrel

11-19-2009, 05:54 AM

I had no idea. What we all do on Facebook should be a non-issue for this site though. Who even made a connection at all? Not me. Never crossed my mind. I saw BR's post and didn't understand one bit of it. I feel bad for everyone involved, but that being said, what's said on FB should be left on FB. Just my opinon.

Yes, I hear that's the opinion currently being used about this issue. I no longer have access so I can not follow the post myself.

But it was obvious enough for those that are hosting the meet to know exactly what was being said, try to apologize and be rebuffed. It was obvious enough for several members to contact me and ask what was going on or to share their opinion when they knew EXACTLY what was being discussed. And since I'm not one to censor or try to hide uncomfortable situations that others make public I needed to address this issue.

As soon as the Facebook postings were reported to me it became a site issue. I didn't go there looking for them. And its NO secret that most of BriarRose's Facebook friends are also on this site. And SHE made the connection to the Niagara meet in the Niagara Meet post herself. So, I see absolutely nothing wrong with giving my side of the story so that members can see both sides of this issue.

Robin

11-19-2009, 02:26 PM

I want to start off by saying I was away when all this started, and I don't belong to Facebook so all my opinions are based on what I've read here.

Consider me the "average member" with no past knowledge of the issue.

I rarely read sign up threads, past the first few posts which contain most of the information. I saw Dave's post and wondered what it was about, so I went back to the Niagra thread in search of a hint of what started this.

What I found were very public, and came off a bit on the 'mean girls' side. I'm going to this fabulous event, and you guys aren't. Weddings are fabulous, but you don't need to belittle another event and the people involved in it. I also noted those posted were made a few days before Dave's post.

What I don't 'get', is whether the original issue is because Dave said he was attending the Niagra meet, or the fact he 'allowed' a meet to be scheduled on the same date as BR's wedding.

Not what I don't get is why someone didn't simply say something to Dave. "Hey, did you know that's the same day as BR's wedding" could have nipped the whole thing in the bud. Why didn't one of BR's friends who knew about the situation say something? Why instead make disparaging comments about a person(s) in a semi-public place? Why not just pick up a phone, send a PM, or post that where was a conflict with the date?

As for Dave posting here, Dave's reputation is tied to this site, the same way Deb Wills is to AllEars. Whenever there has been a situation that was half shrouded in whispers, Dave has put it out there on the board for all to see and judge for themselves. This site (not just the forum) is Dave's place to speak, like with his trip reports. If he has something to say publicly, this site is his place to do it.

Now I know we aren't suppose to bring drama to the board, but Dave is Tagrel, so any attacks made on him or site are relevant here.

If the issue is about Dave initial forgetting the date, I'm sure Kristen is happy that he remembers his own wedding date. ;)

Tagrel

11-19-2009, 03:30 PM

June 24th... I think....OMG I had to check my calendar to be sure. Don't tell the DW! :shock:

Thank you Robin. Since I have had no contact with BriarRose I could not tell you if it was my signing up, the date choice or both that caused the uproar. I was not attending the wedding, forgot the date since it was shared last April and didn't think twice about attending a fun meet with friends that was only 3 hours from my house.

KatEnigma

11-19-2009, 04:27 PM

I suspect that the stress of the wedding planning, plus both BR's and Scott's health issues have BR reacting to things in a way that is unusual for her. That isn't meant as an excuse, since Dave has had way more than his fair share of stress in the past few months, along with a lot of other people, but as a probable explanation. I know that when I am under a lot of stress, I take things harder than I might otherwise, and say and do things that I later regret. Hopefully, at some point when she is under less stress, she will realize that things don't have to be the way they are, and return to the site as at least a member. No one here intended to hurt her feelings, certainly, and I hope she comes to realize that.

ETA: Oh, and Dave, that's why my DH and I have our wedding date engraved on the inside of our rings. LOL ;)

Bookwood

11-20-2009, 05:41 AM

Tagrel

11-20-2009, 08:14 AM

I hope my post in the Niagra thread isn't part of the contention. I think the Niagra meet is going to be great and wish I could attend. I never ment to be nasty to anyone, if anyone construed it as that I'm so sorry.

I recognized your post as both being supportive of a friend and sharing why you could not be there.

This whole 'please everyone' thing is extremely difficult sometimes. One word can change the entire meaning of something you read, and even just reading something in the wrong way (without hearing the person speak the words) can be totally misunderstood.

That is why good communication is so important. I think we all have a long way to go to fully understand this in the online world. Myself included.

Tagrel

11-21-2009, 06:54 AM

OK, I think I need to make one more thing clear. There seems to be this idea, by a select few, that disagreeing with Dave means you get banned.

There are exactly 3 members that are non-spammers that are banned on the boards, and that was because they illegally entered another persons account. That was in January 2006.

I'm thinking banning is not something I do lightly. Just sayin'. :yes:

Moley

11-21-2009, 10:03 AM

WDWNJ

11-21-2009, 12:18 PM

As much as I would like this subject to just die and go away, I feel the need to speak. First, I want apologize to everyone who has been affected by this situation. I think the whole thing is now very sad.

The Niagara meet was initially planned by 6 of us who enjoyed getting together at MagicMeets every summer. When it was announced that MM was not going to happen in 2010 we started discussing a get together on our own and the meet was formed. Multiple dates were kicked around and we finally settled on one that worked best for the 6 of us. Then the idea of opening the meet to all of Tagrel.com came up and it was decided, the more the merrier.

Fast forward a couple of months to TagOmania. It was decided that feelers would be put out to the members to see if there was enough interest to make this an open meet. The word was spread and we received favorable responses. We did learn at this time that our meet was planned for the same weekend as BriarRose wedding, but we received no indication she was upset.

Quite honestly there was very little discussion about the conflict between the wedding and our meet. We did not see a problem. And here is where I remain confused to this day. How is having a meet in Canada on the same day as a wedding in Texas creating such a conflict? Kristen will have all of her friends and family with her in Texas on her special day. Those of us who are not invited or can not attend the wedding have an option to get together as a group. Is this really such a terrible thing?

Bottom line, I am sad that this issue has caused problems on the site. But I am going to Niagara Falls with my friends and I plan on having a good time. I truly hope Kristen has a wonderful day with her friends and family, and I wish her and Scott all the happiness in the world.

Please do not feel the need to reply and/or take sides on this. My intent is not to cause anymore bad feelings then there already are. I simply needed to speak up.

Tagrel

11-21-2009, 12:19 PM

It was actually Fall of 2005, but who am I to disagree and subsequently get banned? :mrgreen: I hope everyone in this thread and who reads it has a good weekend ahead. I may be entering this century soon and get texting on my phone. If you think my posts annoy you, wait until you get Senior Texts! :napkin:

Ahem - do you REALLY think I made up the date? I would NEVER remember and had to read if off the admin screen. JANUARY 22, 2006 was the day.

No worries on the texting, it will take another 3 years for you to learn HOW to text... :whistle: :letsgo:

ETA - Sorry for the levity around your serious post John. I know you were very upset by all this. You posted while I was responding to Moley. And I won't even ban you for putting those smilies in your post :p:p (Which I HOPING are a cut/paste error). ;)

WillCAD

11-21-2009, 01:05 PM

It was actually Fall of 2005, but who am I to disagree and subsequently get banned? :mrgreen: I hope everyone in this thread and who reads it has a good weekend ahead. I may be entering this century soon and get texting on my phone. If you think my posts annoy you, wait until you get Senior Texts! :napkin:

Oh, geez, I think I better up the texting add-on to my calling plan. Moley will be hitting the "Send to everyone" option on all her texts...

"I'm sitting... on... the... patio..."

"I'm watching... Blue... Hawaii..."

"I'm drinking... a... mimosa..."

Then again, those three things would only be ONE text, wouldn't they?

Cruey

11-21-2009, 02:20 PM

James

11-21-2009, 04:24 PM

:lol: WillCAD

I like WDWNJ posting...:razz:Texas:razz:! I make a motion that every time the state of Texas is posted it be surrounded by :p!

As I said somewhere else on the boards.. I hope everyone has a great time! And everyone has safe travels!!:)

Moley

11-21-2009, 05:32 PM

......I am a mushroom.

Dahling, I prefer to think of you as a Vidalia, considered sweet, but can also be a stinker. :rofl:

Moley

11-21-2009, 05:37 PM

Ahem - do you REALLY think I made up the date? I would NEVER remember and had to read if off the admin screen. JANUARY 22, 2006 was the day.

The date of September 18 or 19 resonates with me. Are you sure you didn't mess with that database and it is wrong somehow? But then, as you said....

No worries on the texting, it will take another 3 years for you to learn HOW to text... :whistle: :letsgo:

You can forget what I just said about the database. The above statement on the 3 year learning curve is so true! :lmbo:

WDWNJ

11-21-2009, 09:44 PM

for putting those smilies in your post :p:p (Which I HOPING are a cut/paste error). ;)

I like WDWNJ posting...:razz:Texas:razz:!

Just for the record, I did not intentionally insert any smilies, nor do I see any smilies in my post above.

I am very confused...

Moley

11-21-2009, 10:07 PM

Go in to edit mode for your post above. Then click on the Editing button on the far right corner and you will get out of WYSIWYG and go to standard editing. It will enable you to see a lot of code in the post.

When you are not in the basic editor mode on your User Control Panel, when you copy from Word, the Word software can add some code to your text. You would see it in basic editor and take it out. In WYSIWYG editing, it looks normal to you. All those P's you now see along with the colons translate into the tongue sticking out smiley. If you logged out and came in to read this as a visitor, you would probably see all those little guys, too.

zakerdog

11-21-2009, 10:20 PM

When I copy and paste from word to a post I always click on the preview button, I will then see all the odd stuff that word has thrown in and I make the corrections before I submit. I didn't know about the editing button, thanks for that info Moley.

WDWNJ

11-21-2009, 10:27 PM

Guys - I use word to write most of my posts, especially trip reports, and I always preview first.

Big Red

11-21-2009, 10:32 PM

I also do not see these smilies both when I'm signed in as Big Red or in as a guest. Why would we not be able to see them but others can?

zakerdog

11-21-2009, 10:35 PM

Guys - I use word to write most of my posts, especially trip reports, and I always preview first.

I can never figure out what makes it happen, it only happens sometimes but I have had smilies pop up where I don't see them until I hit submit?? Strange isn't it, this is the one I usually get? It popped up when I copied this from word "us. At first"

ffice:office" /><O:p></O:p>

KatEnigma

11-21-2009, 10:36 PM

This is what it looks like to most of us

http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj94/katenigma00/Forum/2009-11-21_193253.png

WDWNJ

11-21-2009, 10:37 PM

OK - I just changed my settings to Standard Editing in my User CP, Sorry I could not figure out Moleys instructions, and I saw the other code. Now I have to wonder how many of my other posts have goofy smilies in odd places.

I deleted the code, hopefully the smilies are gone. So much for trying to make a serious post.

I'll go crawl back underneath my rock now.

zakerdog

11-21-2009, 10:38 PM

I don't see the smilies either? I am signed in as I normally do I am using IE.

Photographer

11-21-2009, 10:40 PM

I don't see any smileys either. I've had the smiley wearing sunglasses make its way into some of my posts when I never put it there. I think itpops up when I use the number 8 in conjunction with something else.

WDWNJ

11-21-2009, 10:40 PM

This is what it looks like to most of us

http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj94/katenigma00/Forum/2009-11-21_193253.png

Oh that's just freaking wonderful!

KatEnigma

11-21-2009, 10:48 PM

Oh that's just freaking wonderful!

These things happen. :shrug: Everyone understands that you didn't mean to put in the smilies. :sad hug:

Maybe it's image Karma from all those photochopped pictures you post. ;) :lmbo:

SusanL

11-21-2009, 10:49 PM

I didn't see the smilies either.

Moley

11-22-2009, 12:06 AM

Sheryl

11-22-2009, 12:24 AM

I'm with the don't see the smileys crew, so I was a tad confused about Dave's remark. :oops:

KatEnigma

11-22-2009, 01:32 AM

Those of you who don't see the tongue smileys have a different Editor setting in your User Control Panel. Go up to User CP on the tool bar and scroll all the way down. If you have selected "Enhanced Editing" you won't see them. If you are in Standard or Basic Editor, you will.

I don't get it under User CP, either. LOL If I got to Quick Links and pick Edit Options, it's the very last option I could choose. But I have "Enhanced Interface" selected. :lol: :confused:

I think the board has ripped a hole in the space time continuum.

Tagrel

11-22-2009, 05:28 AM

I missed all the 'fun' last night. John, I'm sorry. I thought for sure you'd be back to see your post once there were responses and just edit it yourself. I did NOT want to do it myself since it was a serious post and any changes should be made by you.

I didn't even THINK that some people would be able to see them and some not. That is VERY strange. :confused: I think Kat is right about the entire "space time continuum" thing.... Weird.

Yes, Word, cutting/pasting from a webpage, any content not just typed in can cause weirdness like this. And as Moley pointed out the way to SEE that special formatting code is to use the http://tagrel.com/forum/images/editor/switchmode.gif button in the top right of the site text editor. This toggles two modes. One the shows special formatting (like bold/underline/smilies) and one that shows the codes that create these special modes/images. It can be very helpful when things go wrong. But I have NO idea why some would see smilies and some not. If I had to guess, I'd say Browser issue. I saw them in Firefox, but didn't check any other browsers before John fixed the post.

sjh801

11-22-2009, 06:47 AM

Saw no smilies here. But I certainly learned a lot reading the followup posts.

Photographer

11-22-2009, 09:11 AM

I followed KatEnigma's instructions and was able to check that I have Enhanced Interface selected & I didn't see the smileys. More than likely, it was the default setting because I'm clueless about codes.

kathleena

11-22-2009, 09:31 AM

These things happen. :shrug: Everyone understands that you didn't mean to put in the smilies. :sad hug:

Maybe it's image Karma from all those photochopped pictures you post. ;) :lmbo:

;) That's what I was thinking ;)

I saw them last night. I've had the sunglass smilie from an "8" also, so figured it was just something inserted in there.

Don't worry John, we all know you are always serious. :D

kathleena

11-22-2009, 09:35 AM

Those of you who don't see the tongue smileys have a different Editor setting in your User Control Panel. Go up to User CP on the tool bar and scroll all the way down. If you have selected "Enhanced Editing" you won't see them. If you are in Standard or Basic Editor, you will.

I had enhanced editing checked and I did see them. I was in Firefox, so I'm thinking maybe what Dave said..............

Disagreeing with you doesn't ban me, right? :lol:

Tagrel

11-22-2009, 10:20 AM

I had enhanced editing checked and I did see them. I was in Firefox, so I'm thinking maybe what Dave said..............

Disagreeing with you doesn't ban me, right? :lol:

Uh-oh, I never said that disagreeing with MOLEY didn't get you banned... but I think renting BCV points overrides that.... Its quite complicated actually... :lol:

Robin

11-22-2009, 02:44 PM

Uh-oh, I never said that disagreeing with MOLEY didn't get you banned... but I think renting BCV points overrides that.... Its quite complicated actually... :lol:

I believe it has to take place under a wanning moon and must be confirmed by an owl hooting 3 times. When an own isn't available, Moley can stand in though it isn't exactly hooting that she does.

amymouse

11-23-2009, 04:17 PM

.... Now I have to wonder how many of my other posts have goofy smilies in odd places.

I got used to your goofy smile years ago. Uh ... smilies. I meant "smilies." Yep, yep, yep. That's what I meant.

More seriously, I just wanted to say that I have great affection for all involved here, and that affection means I also have great concern for each of you. Time heals many wounds, and I'm hoping that the passage of time will make all this seem like just a bump in the road later on.

I don't believe there's any "bad guy" in any of this, but that it's just a case of some miscommunication run amock, with the fallout and hurt feelings that sometimes accompanies that. Hugs to every one! :hugging: And I hope Kristen knows that we're excited about the wonderful life event coming up for her next year. I also hope to see her back here having fun again very soon ... with smilies and everything.

starzneyes4Mickey

12-04-2009, 12:45 AM

Events are planned. Events overlap. People can only attend one event. If not formally invited to one event- attend the other event.

Have you ever read the messages inside the bite-sized Dove chocolates?

Perhaps we would do well to live by those messages.

From my perspective, having personally experienced more hurt than one life should EVER hold... precious moments of happiness are lost when focusing on the negative!

CELEBRATE LIFE!