Esmerelda
04-19-2003, 07:14 AM
Grand Finale-Lessons Learned
1. Do not have unrealistic expectations. Do your children get whiny when tired or hungry at home? If so, don’t expect it not to happen at vacation. Do your children enjoy waiting at line at home? If not, don’t expect them to enjoy it while on vacation. Do your children only eat chicken nuggets and spaghetti at home? If so, don’t expect them to enjoy new cuisine just because they are on vacation. Also, do NOT expect children under eight to understand the concept of “This vacation is costing me $2,000 you better smile the whole time.” Kids don’t understand that-my daughter still believes If I need more money I just need to go to the bank.
2. Do not set your child up for disappointment. We watch the video’s about WDW, visit the message boards, talk about the characters, the good food, the rides and fireworks BUT do we ever prepare our children for the not so pleasant realities? Shouldn’t we also prepare them ahead of time for the fact that it will be hot, there will be long lines, you will not be able to purchase everything you see that you want, sometimes you have to wait for buses, BUT it will all be worth it? It reminds me of the airport during meltdown #2 when Elayna screamed in frustration “THIS is NOT VACATION” All of the above ARE parts of a vacation to WDW.
3. Adults, this is not your job. Leave your type A personality at home. Take time to smell the flowers and be a kid again. You will not be fired because of it, you will be rewarded.
4. Do you have your child with you all day at home (if you have kids with special needs, this is extra important)? If not, consider scheduling some time apart. This may be good for both of you. Even if this means them being “babysat” by the TV, or playing relatively unassisted at the playground or at an arcade.
5. Does your child get upset or jealous when you spend time and attention with other adults at home? Does it cause them to act less than angelic? If so, expect it on vacation!
Now, for the more personal ones.
6. I strongly believe that the stroller was not a great idea. Elayna can walk short distances (for about 3-4 hours) if it is not continuous walking. I think being in the stroller caused her to feel more like a “baby” and act more immature than normal. I also think that because her stroller had a canopy and sides to it and basically enveloped her whole body, she was unable to communicate with us. Therefore, she was basically ignored until we stopped and she had to get out of her stroller. We were unable to talk to her or listen to her while pushing the stroller because we couldn’t hear each other. Therefore, she coped by escaping into her own little world and reacted unfavorably when we told her to get out of her own little world immediately and get out of her stroller. The stroller will NOT be coming on the next trip. We will have to modify our touring plans significantly to only tour for 3-4 hours in the morning and not do much walking at night.
7. I have to be more realistic about my own disabilities. There was no possible way that with my limitations I should have expected myself to be able to tour normally with or without a stroller. We will have to choose more time doing less energetic activities. Swimming is very therapeutic for me, and we will do more of it in the future. This will also determine how long our vacations can be as the effect on me is cumulative.
8. Time meeting friends is great but I must remember that this vacation is most importantly a family vacation. Elayna made a comment when we got home that “Jutta was your friend, you wanted to be her friend, not mine.” Where that comment came from is all of our park touring was done with Jutta. I continually talked and laughed with her, and while Elayna was in her stroller, she was ignored.
9. Reevaluate after each vacation your priorities and determine what parts you and your children enjoyed the most. Elayna was relatively well behaved on the illuminations cruise, at the piano bar, at Beaches and Cream, Prime Time and Boma’s. She had a great time finger painting at Old Key West. In the past, she has loved the Dinner Shows and the wagon ride and Movie at Fort Wilderness. She also enjoys swimming and playing on the playgrounds. Learn from the past! Elayna’s happiest and most well behaved times were NOT at the parks, they were at fun dining places and enteretainment places. I also enjoyed these and these also conserve our energy! Therefore, it makes sense that our vacations would be less stressful if we remembered this!
10. Meet your online friends! I don’t know if I mentioned it when writing the trip report, but ALL of the people I met on this trip I met on the internet! I have developed some extremely close relationships with many of these people and expanded my horizons considerably. One of the highlights of my trip on the very hardest day of my trip was coming back to the resort and DcfromVA had left a package with some gorgeous pins in it for Elayna. I didn’t get to meet her but her generosity really meant a lot to me.
11. Write a trip report!!!! It took me a LONG time to write my trip report, but even as much as I wrote it for you, my friends, I wrote it for me. I tend to have selective memory and hopefully this will allow me to make better decisions in the future.
12. Last, but certainly not least, it is in your control what you choose to focus on once the vacation is over. I am determined to look back at this vacation with fond memories and as being a learning experience. A year from now I will not remember her throwing her clothes in the tub or the meltdowns., I will remember the magic in her eyes on the illuminations cruise, the laughter at the meals, watching my daughter who struggled to learn to walk dancing without a care in the world at the Piano bar, the kindness, love and generosity of my friends and the magic that I have never been able to find anyone else.
THE END! Well, not quite.
A tribute to my daughter
This is to level the playing field after my trip report that seemed to focus on the challenges of raising Elayna.
Elayna, my dear daughter.
Elayna, thank you for giving me tho chance of raising a child from infancy. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy every moment of watching a child develop.
Elayna, thank you for your tenacious spirit. Watching you continue to struggle to learn how to walk, to learn to talk, to continue with therapy even when I was discouraged. You have no idea how much your example has enabled me to face my current physical struggles with a feeling that I CAN overcome.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me to take time to be kind. You are never to rushed to help another-be it holding a door, picking up something they dropped, helping a child open their milk at school. Because of this, I am more attunded to taking a few seconds or minutes and helping others.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me that we are financially blessed even when I feel like I can't provide you with everything I want to. When you volunteer to take your toys to give away to the kids at the shelter, or when you pray for the people walking on the side of the street because they don't have car. Yes, God has provided very well for us.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me acceptance of others. I was a little hesitant the first time we served at a homeless shelter and yet you were quick to give hugs to everyone, to tell them stories, to share yourself as all I was giving of myself was handing them a plate of food.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me empathy. I will never forget that night when I was outside on our hammock crying after a recent loss. You put on your slippers, put on a coat and covered me up with a blanket. The words you sang "No matter where you are, you are never to far, just you think of me, I'll be with you". That was the turning point, at that time I decided to focus on what I HAD been blessed with, instead of what I had lost.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me to slow down and take time to smell the flowers. I cannot imagine all the beautiful flowers, the beautiful butterflies, and the beautiful wonders of God I would not had experienced had you not taught me this.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me the real priorities in life. Before I was blessed with you I was focused on a career, making money, and materialistic possessions. Thank you for helping me get in touch with the feelings of the heart, and realizing cultivating relationships with people was more important than any physical possessions.
Elayna, thank you for expanding my world to areas I would never have ventured. Due to trying to learn more about your disabilities I have met some incredibly special people I never would have met had I not been blessed with you in my life.
Elayna, thank you for looking at me, and telling me that you think I am beautiful. As I feel so very unhappy with my physical appearance since the effects of my illness, you look at me and in all honesty, tell me I am beautiful.
Elayna, thank you for your forgiveness when I lose my temper and am not the most patient parent. Your ability to start each day with a clean slate is one I am still trying to emulate.
Elayna, I love you and think I am the luckiest parent in the whole world!
1. Do not have unrealistic expectations. Do your children get whiny when tired or hungry at home? If so, don’t expect it not to happen at vacation. Do your children enjoy waiting at line at home? If not, don’t expect them to enjoy it while on vacation. Do your children only eat chicken nuggets and spaghetti at home? If so, don’t expect them to enjoy new cuisine just because they are on vacation. Also, do NOT expect children under eight to understand the concept of “This vacation is costing me $2,000 you better smile the whole time.” Kids don’t understand that-my daughter still believes If I need more money I just need to go to the bank.
2. Do not set your child up for disappointment. We watch the video’s about WDW, visit the message boards, talk about the characters, the good food, the rides and fireworks BUT do we ever prepare our children for the not so pleasant realities? Shouldn’t we also prepare them ahead of time for the fact that it will be hot, there will be long lines, you will not be able to purchase everything you see that you want, sometimes you have to wait for buses, BUT it will all be worth it? It reminds me of the airport during meltdown #2 when Elayna screamed in frustration “THIS is NOT VACATION” All of the above ARE parts of a vacation to WDW.
3. Adults, this is not your job. Leave your type A personality at home. Take time to smell the flowers and be a kid again. You will not be fired because of it, you will be rewarded.
4. Do you have your child with you all day at home (if you have kids with special needs, this is extra important)? If not, consider scheduling some time apart. This may be good for both of you. Even if this means them being “babysat” by the TV, or playing relatively unassisted at the playground or at an arcade.
5. Does your child get upset or jealous when you spend time and attention with other adults at home? Does it cause them to act less than angelic? If so, expect it on vacation!
Now, for the more personal ones.
6. I strongly believe that the stroller was not a great idea. Elayna can walk short distances (for about 3-4 hours) if it is not continuous walking. I think being in the stroller caused her to feel more like a “baby” and act more immature than normal. I also think that because her stroller had a canopy and sides to it and basically enveloped her whole body, she was unable to communicate with us. Therefore, she was basically ignored until we stopped and she had to get out of her stroller. We were unable to talk to her or listen to her while pushing the stroller because we couldn’t hear each other. Therefore, she coped by escaping into her own little world and reacted unfavorably when we told her to get out of her own little world immediately and get out of her stroller. The stroller will NOT be coming on the next trip. We will have to modify our touring plans significantly to only tour for 3-4 hours in the morning and not do much walking at night.
7. I have to be more realistic about my own disabilities. There was no possible way that with my limitations I should have expected myself to be able to tour normally with or without a stroller. We will have to choose more time doing less energetic activities. Swimming is very therapeutic for me, and we will do more of it in the future. This will also determine how long our vacations can be as the effect on me is cumulative.
8. Time meeting friends is great but I must remember that this vacation is most importantly a family vacation. Elayna made a comment when we got home that “Jutta was your friend, you wanted to be her friend, not mine.” Where that comment came from is all of our park touring was done with Jutta. I continually talked and laughed with her, and while Elayna was in her stroller, she was ignored.
9. Reevaluate after each vacation your priorities and determine what parts you and your children enjoyed the most. Elayna was relatively well behaved on the illuminations cruise, at the piano bar, at Beaches and Cream, Prime Time and Boma’s. She had a great time finger painting at Old Key West. In the past, she has loved the Dinner Shows and the wagon ride and Movie at Fort Wilderness. She also enjoys swimming and playing on the playgrounds. Learn from the past! Elayna’s happiest and most well behaved times were NOT at the parks, they were at fun dining places and enteretainment places. I also enjoyed these and these also conserve our energy! Therefore, it makes sense that our vacations would be less stressful if we remembered this!
10. Meet your online friends! I don’t know if I mentioned it when writing the trip report, but ALL of the people I met on this trip I met on the internet! I have developed some extremely close relationships with many of these people and expanded my horizons considerably. One of the highlights of my trip on the very hardest day of my trip was coming back to the resort and DcfromVA had left a package with some gorgeous pins in it for Elayna. I didn’t get to meet her but her generosity really meant a lot to me.
11. Write a trip report!!!! It took me a LONG time to write my trip report, but even as much as I wrote it for you, my friends, I wrote it for me. I tend to have selective memory and hopefully this will allow me to make better decisions in the future.
12. Last, but certainly not least, it is in your control what you choose to focus on once the vacation is over. I am determined to look back at this vacation with fond memories and as being a learning experience. A year from now I will not remember her throwing her clothes in the tub or the meltdowns., I will remember the magic in her eyes on the illuminations cruise, the laughter at the meals, watching my daughter who struggled to learn to walk dancing without a care in the world at the Piano bar, the kindness, love and generosity of my friends and the magic that I have never been able to find anyone else.
THE END! Well, not quite.
A tribute to my daughter
This is to level the playing field after my trip report that seemed to focus on the challenges of raising Elayna.
Elayna, my dear daughter.
Elayna, thank you for giving me tho chance of raising a child from infancy. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy every moment of watching a child develop.
Elayna, thank you for your tenacious spirit. Watching you continue to struggle to learn how to walk, to learn to talk, to continue with therapy even when I was discouraged. You have no idea how much your example has enabled me to face my current physical struggles with a feeling that I CAN overcome.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me to take time to be kind. You are never to rushed to help another-be it holding a door, picking up something they dropped, helping a child open their milk at school. Because of this, I am more attunded to taking a few seconds or minutes and helping others.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me that we are financially blessed even when I feel like I can't provide you with everything I want to. When you volunteer to take your toys to give away to the kids at the shelter, or when you pray for the people walking on the side of the street because they don't have car. Yes, God has provided very well for us.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me acceptance of others. I was a little hesitant the first time we served at a homeless shelter and yet you were quick to give hugs to everyone, to tell them stories, to share yourself as all I was giving of myself was handing them a plate of food.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me empathy. I will never forget that night when I was outside on our hammock crying after a recent loss. You put on your slippers, put on a coat and covered me up with a blanket. The words you sang "No matter where you are, you are never to far, just you think of me, I'll be with you". That was the turning point, at that time I decided to focus on what I HAD been blessed with, instead of what I had lost.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me to slow down and take time to smell the flowers. I cannot imagine all the beautiful flowers, the beautiful butterflies, and the beautiful wonders of God I would not had experienced had you not taught me this.
Elayna, thank you for teaching me the real priorities in life. Before I was blessed with you I was focused on a career, making money, and materialistic possessions. Thank you for helping me get in touch with the feelings of the heart, and realizing cultivating relationships with people was more important than any physical possessions.
Elayna, thank you for expanding my world to areas I would never have ventured. Due to trying to learn more about your disabilities I have met some incredibly special people I never would have met had I not been blessed with you in my life.
Elayna, thank you for looking at me, and telling me that you think I am beautiful. As I feel so very unhappy with my physical appearance since the effects of my illness, you look at me and in all honesty, tell me I am beautiful.
Elayna, thank you for your forgiveness when I lose my temper and am not the most patient parent. Your ability to start each day with a clean slate is one I am still trying to emulate.
Elayna, I love you and think I am the luckiest parent in the whole world!